Monday, March 18, 2013

Too many emotions...

So, my entire family has now left Italy making me the only American Perri left in the country. It feels weird. Before they came I kind of forgot what it was like to be around them so I didn't miss it that much…even while they were here I took it for granted. I took for granted the feeling you get when you are around people who have always been there. You don't have to worry or think, you just have to be. I miss that so much.

Despite all of these feelings, I told myself to be positive and enjoy the new week! I relaxed all morning in my apartment, watched the new glee, enjoyed my philosophy class, then I came home and ate dinner with Sophia. It was great!

After dinner I went to my place to get some pastries for Janelle, Travis, and myself for a tv night! When I walked in all of the workers greeted me like a friend! I picked three new pastries that Naomi (the woman who works the evening shift) recommended. She helped me pronounce their names so I could tell the cashier what I got. He laughed as I messed up every other word but it still made me happy to speak only Italian. As I paid, another worker came up and starting asking about my dad. He had went to get coffee here while he was here a few nights last week. It felt surreal to have my two worlds connect like that. After a few minutes of chatting, they told me they would see me soon. As I left I felt on top of the world. I stopped in the middle of the piazza near my house and just looked up at the beautiful night sky and I started crying. Not because I was sad or happy…just because I felt alive. I took control of my feeling this morning and turned what could have been a bad day into a great one!

After hanging out with my friends, I came back to my apartment in less of a good mood. It is just so difficult to have so many emotions in one day. I miss my family, my friends, and the familiarity of home; yet, at the same time I want to enjoy the time I have left with my friends here and focus on the special, little things that are happening to me everyday. I am beginning to realize that studying abroad (growing up) is pulling me in every direction possible and I just need to find a balance.

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